The ‘Should’ Mindset vs The ‘Want’ Mindset

In the spirit of positivity, and kind of related to my last post, I’d like to talk about having a ‘should’ mindset over a ‘want’ mindset.

  • I should go to the gym OR I want to go to the gym.
  • I should call my parents OR I want to call my parents.
  • I should go to work OR I want to go to work.
  • I should clean the house OR I want to clean the house.

How do your feelings change towards each sentence? Do you feel tense? Excited? Motivated? Dreadful? Repulsed?

The thought that I ‘should’ do something, immediately makes me not want to do it. It makes me want to pull the blankets over my head and pretend the thought never crossed my mind. I turn into a rebellious teenager or toddler throwing a tantrum. I DON’T WANNA!

Ready to change your mindset?

Exchanging ‘should’ for ‘want’ gives each sentence a new impression. It gives the feeling of being pulled towards something, rather than being pushed. It gives the sentence positivity and intent instead of obligation and dread, doesn’t it?

When you have the feeling of obligation and dread popping into your head, replace the should with a want. Eat your damn vegetables and hit the gym because you WANT to be healthy, not because you are told you SHOULD. Spend time with your family because you WANT to make memories and see how they’re doing, not because you SHOULD and will feel guilty if you don’t.

Get out of the negative mindset of being forced to do things you ‘should’ do. and get into the mindset of being in control and wanting to do those things.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like having a sink full of dishes. I want to do them because I like a clean kitchen, so I’m not distracted and it doesn’t get in the way of my next meal. (No one likes Hangry Lisa)

health salad
I want to eat this salad. Got to fuel the fire!

The more you WANT to complete tasks you know you SHOULD do, all of the steps towards your goals you’ve been avoiding won’t seem so daunting. Getting out of the dreadful ‘should’ mindset makes every task, from washing dishes to creating a webinar, more exciting. You know once you complete a task, it’s out of your way and you can continue to move forward.

In my book, I talk a lot of about distractions. Everyone has things they avoid crossing off their to-do list, but those things take space in their thoughts. ‘I really should get that done.’ I agree, you really should, but you didn’t think of the feeling you’ll get and the space you’ll free up, once you do it.

That’s the feeling I want. I want a clear mind to be fully present and focused. Don’t you?

You got this!

Lisa, Bucketlist Coach

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